A Year Has Past

It has been a year since I have written. For so little to have happened so much has seemed to pass. Within the last year I have moved back to Spokane. I finally finished my undergraduate degree and am now preparing to begin the next phase of my education. I keep finding out more and more classes I need to take in order to become a Washington state Social Studies teacher. However the end is in sight and hopefully I will get into the Master's of Teaching program I want and receive my diploma and teaching certificate by the end of the summer of 2012 (if the world is still in order by then :) ). I had such high expectations for this past year but they have not come to fruition. Another lesson in how I am not in control. Which is okay, I just always hope I am not hindering the plans He has made for me.

This past year has been much about my dog Copper. He died in the beginning of June, but was not well for many months prior. And those months I was constantly with him trying to make his last days good. Watching a loved one (even just a dog) go through a more or less painful end is never an easy thing. I saw how death is rarely graceful. It also made me reflect on how our sin as humans, the fall, not only affected us the doers, but all creation. With Adam and Eve the whole world fell from God into disarray and pain. Even the animals suffer on behalf of our consequences. Well, with all that said, I am thankful that God allowed me to enjoy 16 years with Copper. I am grateful for all His blessings, even though the world is fallen, He has made made many things to be joyful blessings and Copper's life was one of them for me.

Another huge event was the birth of my niece Remember. She came out of the womb in April. I am excited to be apart of her life and see her mature over the years. She is precious now, but I can't wait until she gets a little older and be able to walk and communicate by using words. Life is always changing. I don't usually do well with life's continuing transformations, but with Remember being added to my family dynamic, I see that not all changes are bad.

So, as you can see I have not actually done much this year. This year has been a tumultuous one that has caused me to be a bit reclusive from the outside. I have needed to spend a lot of time by myself and also with my family. And now we will see what this upcoming year will bring. Hopefully I will post more often than just once every August.

Desires of the heart

I want to trust and love without fear and hesitation
I want those around me to know how much I care
I want to let them into the depths of my heart
and be let into theirs without anxiety and judgement
I want to smile often and cry without shame
I want to share others happiness and sorrow
I want to approach strangers unafraid
and depart joy and hope into their lives
I no longer want to conform to this detached generation
Instead I want to live and love

Maybe someday I should read Don't Waste Your Life

I have done nothing productive today, except for an hour or so of reading. Which an hour out of the 16 is not enough to redeem the day. And to tell the truth I have only been awake for the last 10 hours, and since it is now only 9 pm, you can see I slept away the morning. To my defense my night's "rest" was interrupted constantly with nightmarish like dreams. Mere excuses. My lack of productivity might be excusable if today was an anomaly, however that is not the case. I often think the same thought at the end of the day (and throughout the day for that matter) and the same thought is: wow, what a waste of a day. Which has me thinking, if I often think this same thought day after day can I not come to the conclusion that thus far I have been wasting my life? Yet, even the most "productive" of people could have wasted their lives. Is productivity a relative term then? No I do not think it is. For if we are following God then what we do or do not do, I believe has to be productive. And though I do not always follow the Lord well I do however have a relationship with Him and strive to serve Him. And therefore I may in fact waste some of my hours and some of my days, but with a heart full of repentance, my life is not wasted.

It is the end of May and I need to fulfill my quota

Chelsea has not written on her blog for a long time.

loyalty

I am considering becoming more loyal to this blog. I will try to take baby steps and instead of visiting it twice a year I will come and post something at least twice a month and after that maybe twice a week and then if I get super ambitious and have nothing better to do with my time I will shoot for twice a day! But baby steps first. So month of May you are half way there. Of course it is bad timing to start being more faithful since I have the disadvantage of not having internet access at home..... well we will see .....

Hey look I still have a blog

To Whom?

I have a hard time writing new posts for this blog knowing that no one reads it. Am I simply writing to myself? Or am I writing to the internet, the great web of information? It really is my own fault, for no one except one knows about my poor blog and even then I don't write frequently enough for the said person to want to constantly check for updates. So, I ask to whom am I writing?